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Local Talkback
Talkback is for the residents and businesses in Liphook to voice their views and opinions about local issues and events.

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St Mary's Church Bramshott
- Emma jones (14th Apr 2018 @ 23:56:27)

Im writing this thread with so much anger and sadness .
After what Ive witnessed today makes me question so much about how vile and disrespectful human beings can be .
Many people know myself and my family and will know what weve been through the past 2 years .
We lost our gorgeous boy Alfie after a 13 month battle with cancer 9 months ago .
He is laid to rest at st Marys church bramshott .
Today the same as everyday we went to visit our sons resting place and were completely shocked to find the 5 coloured wind chimes wed put in a tree near him had gone .
After looking down near to Alfie where there are little babies laid to rest we noticed the chimes from that tree also had gone .
Not only that lots of personal items that were on the headstone too.
On further investigation after looking in the bins we were horrified to
Find lots of peoples personal things from numerous graves had been thrown in the bin !!!
Weve taken everything we could out and have placed it all by each bin and have posted pictures on liphook rants on Facebook .
Not only do we want this never to happen again , we want to get these precious things returned to the correct graves :(
This is unacceptable and I will personally make sure that whoever is responsible for this will be reprimanded.
Myself and my husband believe this is the groundsman of the church !!
If anyone has any information of who this is please could you let me know as something seriously has to be done !!
I will also be contacting the church , local papers and national if I have to !!!
My number is
07788217513 or we live at 29 The mead , liphook
Thank you

Re: St Mary's Church Bramshott
- K (16th Apr 2018 @ 10:16:52)

Whilst I have sympathy with your upset & grief - However as a point of information I looked up the St Mary's churchyard booklet 2017 ( please see exert below) -
8 Other Decorations
Visitors to the churchyard will see that many relatives have chosen to decorate the graves with small moveable statues, flowerpots, windmills, chimes, etc. We understand that these items are special to those grieving and to their memories of their loved one.

However, we should point out that the regulations do not actually permit the presence of any of these items.Neither can we be responsible for the loss of these items or any damage caused to them.

I know many cemeteries - do not allow plants -wind chimes statues - toys etc - (because although it may give the immediate family mourners relief - it can actually be found disrespectful by other mourners & make keeping the grounds tidy & well kept difficult.)

I think it can be a very difficult path to tread for both sides. My husbands cemetery are very strict on this! Not even small gardens are allowed they have anything removed immediately. it seems harsh but I guess we all have different concepts of what is appropriate.

Please accept my sincere condolences on your great loss - but I was hoping to take some of your anger & despair at who ever removed your items for whatever reason away- my thoughts are with you.

Re: St Mary's Church Bramshott
- Rev Val (17th Apr 2018 @ 21:13:51)

Dear all,
Just to say we're as shocked about this as everyone else. I've personally spent the evening visiting those effected and we have reported the matter to the police. There is little I believe that they can do, but we are in the process of making our own enquiries. What has particularly shocked me about this incident is that most of the effected graves that I know of so far belong to families of children who have passed away either recently or many years ago. If you have been effected we'd love to know and do please e-mail our church office.
God Bless

Re: St Mary's Church Bramshott
- kayleigh rigby (19th Apr 2018 @ 13:06:24)

dear 'k' thank you for that real useful bit of information...not...!

as in emma's message my baby daughters forever bed (grave) was one of the ones that had quite abit of her personal belongings removed, and DUMPED in the bin...

now 'k' your comment... ''I know many cemeteries - do not allow plants -wind chimes statues - toys etc - (because although it may give the immediate family mourners relief - it can actually be found disrespectful by other mourners & make keeping the grounds tidy & well kept difficult.)''

well my reply to this is ''this happened in a 24hour gap and was found saturday 14th evening, now on the sunday 15th was my daughters 4th birthday yes 4th and guess what most of what was on her bed had been there since she has been!''

we have never been asked to remove any of her items (even from the tree which we hang things from which belongs to someone else) and in fact quite alot of the famillies and their visitors have said how bright and loving hers and the other baby noah's beds look with all the windmills & toys etc.

so if we were being disrespectful why has it taken FOUR years for someone to do something about it...we havent done anything different over the years so why now...?

Re: St Mary's Church Bramshott
- K (19th Apr 2018 @ 15:12:45)

Very sorry if you took my post the wrong way Kayleigh - I was actually trying to give support & perhaps offer a different perspective of someones motives for the removal of these precious objects - I have no problems with personal decorations at graves in fact I quite like to see most -- I do know the trauma of losing a loved one as I went on to mention.

My husband was very young when he died quite unexpectedly & tragically, although it is now 20yrs ago I still miss him every day. In fact the inscription on his head stone reads "Such a love does not die" That still holds true today - I send my blessing & heartfelt thoughts to all those affected by the incident.

Re: St Mary's Church Bramshott
- Gerardus Johannes Wilhelmus Pijl (12th Jan 2019 @ 17:05:56)

Having been a resident of Bramshott for 28 years and taken my various dogs for daily walks through the Churchyard ~ (and yes I do use a poopbag) I am always pleased to see personal effects and other bits decorating graves. It brightens up the churchyard and makes it a more cheerful place and shows that people care and visit the graves.

As to the rules not allowing these objects I suggest that the nay sayer's learn a bit of tolerance for other peoples attitudes and I suggest that a serious look at the rules be undertaken and that they are relaxed to be more in keeping with peoples wishes.

I for one will be one of those who retrieves binned items and decorate graves with them. I have also noticed that many of these have been removed. Can the church at least have a consultation on this. I also question why it costs a large amount of money for the church to approve a gravestone?

Re: St Mary's Church Bramshott
- oldie (13th Jan 2019 @ 11:41:54)

Mr Pijl,

Of course you are entitled to your opinion just like everybody else who posts on here. I'm not sure that directly interfering in the way you suggest with the church ground rules (if indeed that's what they are) is appropriate.

I wonder if you tithe/ donate towards the upkeep of this beautiful Christian amenity or just pass through it whilst your dog poos like many do?

The churches are of course short of money, short of parishioners, short of everything in this day and age and I think we're very lucky that these old museums keep staying open, either for worship as intended or I guess in most cases just to pass through, admire and get a bit of peace and quiet (which is what I normally do). The buildings and grounds are beautiful and I can completely see why they need to charge for the services and upkeep they provide to people, that includes plot fees etc.

It would be nice to see a little leeway for grave decorations in addition to flowers, especially children's graves, but (as you suggest) that would be better taken up with the church authorities than by direct action or posting on here. In fact assuming the poster above (Rev Val) is the real vicar posting, then you will see that he seems to be supporting grave decorations, which I think is a great attitude as I agree they can brighten it up (as long as not taken to extremes) and do no harm that I can see.

Re: St Mary's Church Bramshott
- Carole (13th Jan 2019 @ 12:34:40)

I would like to offer my sympathies to all those who are grieving for family and friends buried in the cemetery at St. Mary’s. However, I feel that the rules of the authorities, regarding what is allowed and not allowed, should be made clear at the time of burial. I had a very close family member interred at Bramshott 20years ago when the rules regarding the style of headstone and not placing anything around or on the grave were very strict. The reason being that the area needed to be kept clear so the ground staff could mow over the grave areas and keep the cememtry neat and tidy. Obviously the maintenance of the churchyard is another subject and the upkeep and mowing have deteriorated over time. It may seem harsh to discuss rules and regulations when families are grieving but it could save heartache at a later date. Can we please have clarification from the church/parish council as to the current situation and to know whether or not anyone has the authority to remove personal items from graves.

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