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50 ways to lose a lover (well almost) - Barry Hope (20th Jun 2007 - 21:09:05) This ones for the women amongst you. WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!! HE: Can I buy you a drink? SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money. HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours. HE:Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice. HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must've been given your share. HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday? SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend. HE: Your face must turn a few heads. SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs. HE: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out. SHE: Okay, get out. HE : I think I could make you very happy. SHE: Why? Are you leaving? HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me? SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time. HE: Can I have your name? SHE: Why? Don't you already have one? HE: Shall we go see a movie? SHE: I've already seen it. HE: Where have you been all my life? SHE: Hiding from you. HE: Haven't I seen you some place before? SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore. HE: Is this seat empty? SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. HE: So, what do you do for a living? SHE: I'm a female impersonator. HE: Hey baby, what's your sign? SHE: Do not enter. HE: Your body is like a temple. SHE: Sorry, there are no services today. HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. There must be more out there

Re: 50 ways to lose a lover (well almost) - vicky (20th Jun 2007 - 22:21:12) Tks for that very funny x

Re: 50 ways to lose a lover (well almost) - Paul Robinson (22nd Jun 2007 - 14:53:10) And heres one for the men . . . A man turns a corner and is confronted by a funeral courtege. At the front is not one but two hearses bedecked in flowers and behind walks one man with a dog on a lead, behind him is a line of fifteen sombre looking men. The man is dumbfounded and falling in beside the man with the dog he says "I am sorry for your troubles but who is in the first hearse?" "Its a very sad case, its my wife, she was attacked and savaged by the dog" "And the second hearse?" " Unbelievable, the very next day the wife's mother is attacked and savaged by the dog" "Mother of God" says your man "would you ever lend me the dog?" Pointing behind him the widower says "Join the queue!"

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