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CATS!! - domestic variety - Bill ingsgate (25th Mar 2004 - 21:54:37) I'd like to instigate a lively dialogue about dear old moggy; as a self confessed cat hater, I'm hoping for a degree of good natured & satirical humour by way of response, as well as some serious views - not to mention the heavy guns of CPL sympathisers! The fact is, your average domestic cat is probably the most successful predator that the animal world has ever produced; add to that it's propensity to maim and kill for pleasure - rather than through hunger -means Tiddles is totally unmatched for stealth, voracity and ferocity. Whether you like it or not, the cat destroys more garden birds and small animals than anything else. As a garden enthusiast (which includes a deep appreciation of and unashamed pleasure in, the wildlife that shares my plot), this is what really upsets me - not to mention the extremely smelly deposits that mog leaves behind on any piece of well-turned soil. So, lets get positive; as it's Spring and everything is struggling to reproduce, may I make a plea to the cat owners of Liphook- please lock up your cat during the nightime. Why? Because that's when they're on the prowl and when nature is at it's most vunerable. Why not try this just for once? Is it so difficult to survive without pussykins bringing home a "present" tonight?

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Alex Cameron (26th Mar 2004 - 00:48:18) A cat hater? What's wrong with you man? My little guy is a ferocious lion. He hunts, predates and devours whatever he can. And steals the entire sofa when you get up to make a cup of coffee. Well i say that, but there's times when i'm really concerned he might be gay. Nothing wrong with that of course, but a little confusing at times. Now Dogs Vs. Cats - there's a topic ;) Cats every time. Dogs are drooling, stupid animals with no capacity for expression whatsoever. I'm expecting to get heavily pounded for that last comment.

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Eneida Nelson (26th Mar 2004 - 07:48:09) Mr. Insgate DON'T EVEN GO THERE!! I can't get very excited about Liphook traffic but cats are quite a different matter! They're the most wonderful creatures in the world, in fact I prefer them to most people I know, so you wont get any good natured satire out of me. In my opinion anyone who describes himself as a 'self confessed cat hater' should be locked up for ever, never mind cats!! Eneida

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Bill Ingsgate (26th Mar 2004 - 09:27:47) What a sweet picture you paint, Alex C; you and your limp-wristed mog sharing a night in together - as you say, you and your "little guy"! As for Eneida (thought that was an old TV prog about boats), that's more like it!! A bit of the old vitriolic pussy-power. String 'em up Eneida.

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Freddie Dawkins (26th Mar 2004 - 11:12:55) I'm going to attract hate mail now, but I've got two large dogs to watch my back, so here goes... If you really have a problem with a cat depositing and watering your prize gladiolis or whatever, there's a simple and effective way to drive them into your neighbours. Pour some of your own waste materials onto the ground. Friend of ours did it in his Southsea garden (after a particularly heavy Saturday night session) and the moggies never came back. Needs to be redosed about once a month, especially in wet weather. (Okay, dons tin hat and waits for mortar bombs to descend) Gnome

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Steve (26th Mar 2004 - 12:43:44) I have to agree wholeheartedly with Enieda on this one, cats are far better company than any human. Apart from Kylie maybe. My cat kills and kills and kills and I've tried everything. He takes birds during the day and mice during the night. He generally doesn't kill the mice but the bird population has to be lowering in Liphook. Still I've saved a fair few of the feathered things, yet I don't really like them that much, they are pretty boring wildlife. Still don't deserve to be ripped apart though.

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Bill Ingsgate (26th Mar 2004 - 13:29:49) Steady Freddie!! I can see the Herald headline - "Liphook man arrested for encouraging urinating in public". Steve, Steve, Steve - what's the matter with you? All you've got to do is to strangle the little blighter. You could then hang it on a fence somewhere to ward off other midnight marauders. S'posed to work with magpies, why not moggies?

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Steve (26th Mar 2004 - 15:26:16) I have hung the biggest bell around it's neck. It's from Big Ben and he can hardly walk it's so heavy and when it rings people set their watches. He is still as nimble as anything and has no problems with birds. He's a gorgeous cat though and as soft as ice cream except with birds and mice.

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Alex Cameron (27th Mar 2004 - 00:43:24) £10 and a free bag of cat biscuits goes to the first person who can properly explain to Alex K what 'trolling' actually means....;)

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Freddie Dawkins (27th Mar 2004 - 09:43:31) It's when I'm sitting in an open boat, chugging very slowly across a storm-tossed lough and trolling behind me an artificial lure in the vain hope of catching something more than a cold. Gnome

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Steve Read (28th Mar 2004 - 22:28:50) Dear Bill, (Copy of Letter found in magazine recently) As stated in the Daily Telegraph some time ago, in Australia they have on Boxing day the Pine Creek "pig and pussy hunt". The organisers said, quote "you can shoot them from a helicopter, run them over on the road, get them with a bow and arrow or chuck a stick of dynamite at them..... These animals are wiping out our native wildlife. We're just giving Mother Nature a helping hand." As far as the pigs are concerned the helping hand consisted of a pack of pit bull terriers in rubber body armour. Cats he said are harder to get but added "Anything that steps off the veranda is fair game"

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Steve (29th Mar 2004 - 08:54:26) No suprise that all of the Australian ancestory come from criminals, no suprise at all.

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Bill Ingsgate (29th Mar 2004 - 16:59:39) Dear-o-dear-o-dear! Our pro-mog champion, Alex C appears to have lost the plot entirely. Have you really added mythical underground creatures to your already unhealthy list of obsessions Alex? Get some therapy lad before it's too late! Now Steve Read, I like the cut of his jib - excellent reading material Steve and who says there's no culture down under?! Reminds me of a story I once heard as to the origins of the word CATGUT.......

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Alex Cameron (30th Mar 2004 - 01:44:56) Ahaa - we have yet another agent provocateur to add to our number eh? I doubt any local therapist would take my call after one visit to this board ;) But if anyone's reading this, yes i would like some therapy, so if you have a good rate and can stomach listening to my whining and the mandatory tales about my HIGHLY MASCULINE, AGILE, TESTOSTERONE-POWERED feline, please get in touch... "Pro-Mog champion" makes me sound like a 'New' Labour policy initiative though. I'd say i was more the bleeding heart liberal. Just for the personal enjoyment of our resident cat-murderering horrible nasty people: There are people who reshape the world by force or argument, but the cat just lies there, dozing; and the world quietly reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience. --Allen and Ivy Dodd Work - other people's work - is an intolerable idea to a cat. Can you picture cats herding sheep or agreeing to pull a cart? They will not inconvenience themselves to the slightest degree. --Dr. Louis J. Camuti In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. --Dereke Bruce It is a matter to gain the affection of a cat. He is a philosophical animal, tenacious of his own habits, fond of order and neatness, and disinclined to extravagant sentiment. He will be your friend, if he finds you worthy of friendship, but not your slave. --Theophile Gautier What is the appeal about cats?" he said kindly. "I've always wanted to know." "They don't care i you like them. They haven't the slightest notion of gratitude, and they never pretend. They take what you have to offer, and away they go. --Mavis Gallant Cats are possessed of a shy, retiring nature, cajoling, haughty, and capricious, difficult to fathom. They reveal themselves only to certain favored individuals, and are repelled by the faintest suggestion of insult or even by the most trifling deception. --Pierre Loti Cats do not go for a walk to get somewhere but to explore. --Sidney Denham It is remarkable, in cats, that the outer life they reveal to their master is one of perpetual confident boredom. All they betray of the hidden life is by means of symbol; if it were not for the recurring evidence of murder - the disemboweled rabbits, the headless flickers, the torn squirrels - we should forever imagine our cats to be simple pets whose highest ambition is to sleep in the best soft chair, whose worst crime is to sharpen their claws on carpeting. --Robley Wilson, Jr. Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. --Bruce Graham There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. --Unknown Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.Cats have never forgotten this. --Unknown If cats could talk, they wouldn't. --Nan Porter Cats are smarter than dogs.You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow. --Jeff Valdez As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. --Ellen Perry Berkeley and my personal favourite: Managing senior programmers is like herding cats. --Dave Platt Alex "ThreadBomber" Cameron

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Bill (30th Mar 2004 - 09:38:24) Strewth!!!

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Mike Grimes (30th Mar 2004 - 12:02:55) But in years to come, will anyone quote Alex Cameron?

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Alex Cameron (30th Mar 2004 - 13:17:34) Mike, i hate to admit it, but you have a point. ;) Moving swiftly back on to moggies though...

Re: CATS!! - domestic variety - Jenny Alexander (31st Mar 2004 - 10:05:38) I think you are all nuts!!! seriously you should all get some help - fast!! p.s - cats rule

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