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Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Handsome Dave (30th Jun 2016 - 12:09:16) Right then, well this is something I hadn't expected to write when I woke up this morning. A few weeks ago I went for a jog on Longmoor Range, the part which runs parallel to the A3. So there I was minding my own business trotting along when suddenly I felt like someone had hit me on the back of my head. I turned around and naturally there was nobody there. Longmoor Range is hardly the Bronx is it? However, when I looked up I saw a big bird circling above me and I figured it might have been the culprit. Clearly it thought I was something tasty (which or course in many ways is true) but I’m bigger than its usual snack. Much bigger, regrettably, hence the jogging. No matter, I didn’t give it any more thought. Until this morning. So once again I found myself jogging in the same spot when un-flipping-believably the same thing happened again. But not once, ladies and gentlemen (that would have been soooooo boring) – three times no less. I’ll repeat that- three times. An enormous buzzard swooped out of a tree and dive-bombed me. Now I wouldn’t normally recognise a bird if one hit me in the face (oh, hang on….) but I got back home and looked on google images and there it was. A bit like one of those identity parades you see in cop shows – an avian ‘whodunnit’. Subsequent ‘googling’ and a little bit of further research (I’m quite dull like this) has identified that the buzzard quite probably has her nest in this area and is purely being protective of her young. Attacks such as this are rare but you might want to steer clear of that part of the range for a while.

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Wendy (30th Jun 2016 - 12:47:56) If I was you Dave I would wear a crash helmet and body armour!!!!!!! I have seen a big bird hovering on my way to work in the morning over that area.

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - maurice (30th Jun 2016 - 14:02:44) Hi Dave, The very same thing happened to me when I was running. I was eating a sandwich at the time and I thought bird was after my bread lol

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Simon (30th Jun 2016 - 15:00:40) Dave, you might have stumbled upon the MOD's new secret weapon.

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - JJ09 (30th Jun 2016 - 15:01:13) hang on a minute maurice, lets rewind that. you took a sandwich with you jogging? is that part of your excise routine or r u just greedy?

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Wendy (30th Jun 2016 - 20:16:39) Maurice, were you carrying a milkshake too !!!

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Giles Gray (1st Jul 2016 - 00:43:21) Handsome dave It wasn't mistaking your toupée for some kind of rodent was it? But then you are 'handsome dave' so you should be used to 'birds' chasing after you. Fantastic story...

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Wendy (1st Jul 2016 - 09:11:55) Good one Giles - made me laugh!!! Funny thing is Dave might be bald!!!!!!

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Buzzard supporter (1st Jul 2016 - 10:40:33) If Handsome Dave is bald this is almost certainly a mating ritual with the buzzard mistaking its reflection for another potential suitor

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Sarah (1st Jul 2016 - 14:31:08) Thank you for making making me LOL :)

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Wendy (1st Jul 2016 - 16:57:15) It' s lovely to have a bit of fun rather than all the bickering that goes on on some of these threads!

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Handsome Dave (1st Jul 2016 - 19:41:25) Intriguing replies. There appears to be more interest in the state of my hair (or lack of) than the perilous danger I found myself in. And what if something serious happened to me or I was fatally wounded? The MOD would have to put a plaque up or a bench at the spot with the wording: "Here lies Handsome Dave. Killed by a buzzard". The shame of it all.

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Wendy (2nd Jul 2016 - 07:06:29) I would have laid some flowers in your memory handsome Dave!!!!!

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Jay W (2nd Jul 2016 - 10:44:50) Great idea for a bench to be placed there - Maurice could have a sit down for his sandwiches and milkshake. Brilliant post - hope you weren't scarred for life Handsome Dave or put off your exercise routine. Still chuckling, sorry!

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Karen Feeney (2nd Jul 2016 - 14:20:51) Oh Handsome Dave how your post made me laugh and after the last week or so I think we all needed a chuckle. I am hoping that you weren't injured during the incident! Happy running! Karen

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Thomas (2nd Jul 2016 - 15:53:33) Dear Handsome Dave, Can you please post photo of you in your (lycra?) running gear so we can all cast an eagle eye over your appearance and decide whether you are what you say you are...... A little bird told me you might have been tongue in cheek using the word ‘handsome’, but if you are true to your name, and you are indeed in in fine feather, have looks worth crowing about and the right to strut like a rooster, then as Giles suggested, you may have a whole flock of birds chasing you on your run round the Conford ranges. If you are not a bird brained idiot, and have a wife/partner, this might help you run faster to get away, realising that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Or perhaps it might make you chicken out of running there altogether as you don’t want to ruffle feathers or cook your goose. But if you are single and keen on the birds and bees, you have no need to clip your wings and you could slow down to take a gander at these birds. You will no doubt pass over any ugly ducklings or those that are no longer spring chickens and consider the chicks first. If you are lucky, your running might turn out to kill two birds with one stone and be the goose that lays the golden egg and help you find your perfect bird of paradise. If birds of a feather flock together and you take to each other like ducks to water, then you might wish to take her under your wing. Don’t delay as the early bird catches the worm, and if you are not sure of the right thing to say, just wing it . Then you and your graceful swan can start feathering your nest and get your ducks in a row by starting to build a nest egg for the future. You will then be happy as a lark and proud as a peacock and probably look like the cat that swallowed the canary. But taking a bird’s eye view, a word of caution: One swallow doesn’t make a summer, and as Aesop said, ‘it is not only fine feathers that make fine birds’, and perfect partners are scarcer than hen’s teeth, even if they have skin soft as down and look good naked as a jaybird. So if you find your little chickadee, do not run around like a headless chicken with excitement and definitely don't count your chickens before they're hatched. You’re a sitting duck so best to watch like a hawk to ensure you don’t get stuffed like a Christmas goose. Be ready to fly the coop cold turkey, like a bat out of hell if she tries to lead you on a wild goose chase or rule the roost and put you second in the pecking order. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, and you don’t want to be a lame duck with an albatross around your neck. Financially, you could be left with chicken feed if you are not careful and then your goose would then be well and truly cooked, and you’d be left singing your swan song. So if that happens, don’t be crazy as a loon, be a wise owl and just spread your wings and head off as the crow flies to ensure you stay free as a bird on the wing. If on the other hand, your photo shows you don't live up to your name, and you’ve been a silly goose claiming you’re handsome, your chickens will come home to roost and you won't be surprised if we the Talkback readers, metaphorically squawk at you and, ahem, flip you the bird. But hopefully this would be like water off a duck's back to you. This is not at all a chicken and egg situation, and I know that you can cage a bird but not make him sing, so I can't force you to post your photo, but you'll earn the right to put a feather in your cap if you do. As the Cameroonians say, ‘a chattering bird builds no nests’, so I’d better stop parroting on now before I get accused of being bat-shit crazy, or having bats in the belfry (no doubt true). Mind you, it’s lovely weather for ducks outside again today, so I will no doubt end up snuggling into my down filled duvet reading Twitter while I eat my Birdseye chicken goujons. Aaarghhh….. don’t flap, it's over…..I promise you won't hear a dicky-bird from me again. Regards from Ivan I. Forbirds

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Wendy (2nd Jul 2016 - 16:45:14) Thomas, that is well worded and funny. Hope it makes handsome Dave laugh!!!

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - GG (2nd Jul 2016 - 19:34:25) We're getting a little bit off the subject at hand with all this 'bird' talk. We were discussing the fact that Handsome Dave might b as bald as a coot...

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - JP (3rd Jul 2016 - 07:03:50) Sounds like a 'Hit and Run' to me.

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Simon Lannoy (3rd Jul 2016 - 21:19:38) Are you sure it wasn't irritable Owl Syndrome?

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - Even More Handsome Ian (5th Jul 2017 - 15:06:22) Handsome Dave. This very nearly happened to me too yesterday on the same stretch of Longmoor. In fact it also "nearly" happened last summer at the same location a number of times while out for a run. Only this latest time I got worried because I could hear the whoosh of the birds wings as it flew low over me from behind so know its getting closer. Crikey! Not wearing any rodent like toupee either or trying to eat a delicious sandwich! Looking this up I note its probably a buzzard protecting its offspring. Breeding season is July and August. Anyway not going to let the bugger stop me from running so I will take the previous advice and wear a hat as I have seen some horrid pics of people with blood streaming down their face where a buzzard has dug their claws in. Be safe folks. Don't let birds get you down!

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - k (6th Jul 2017 - 09:32:13) Just a thought if we know this is Buzzard breeding season - why not give them a chance to raise their young in peace & avoid the area for a little while - could it also be the Kite - that a lot of people have enjoyed reporting seen in this area - with the hope of them becoming a more familiar sight - respect your right to roam - but if we continue to disturb the beautiful & majestic birds of prey & other wildlife of England we may lose them altogether - little compassion - they don't realise your need to burn off the calories - they just want to live & raise young - Natural really.

Re: Attacked by a buzzard in Liphook - lac (6th Jul 2017 - 18:18:31) don't worry about disturbing the buzzard. The bird in question (or its offspring) has been "buzzing" passing pedestrians/cyclists for many years. It's a lovely bird which gave me a lovely view today as if flew over my head and landed in a close by tree to make sure I wasn't a threat. It's never come closer than a few feet and always comes from behind. Its intent is to frighten off would be threats, so enjoy the spectacle. I'm sure many people don't even notice being "harassed". On another note the supply of rabbits this year has increased dramatically following recent steep declines from an outbreak of myxomatosis. Hopefully this will increase the survival rates of these great birds.

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